Wednesday, December 4, 2013

not just a back up plan

I was confronted by one of my clients this week who seemed convinced that I could not have voluntarily chosen this year of service. While rolling his fingerprints in order to request a background check from the FBI, he attempted to make a pun about how much money I was rolling in. He had been a fairly obstinate client and it was nearing the end of a long day of walk-ins in which our waiting-room had been packed beyond seating capacity on two occasions, so needless to say I was tired. I didn't joke back as I might have done on a different day, but instead point blank confided in him that I am a full time volunteer and live off a stipend of $50 a month (after housing and food and bills are paid of course). I have revealed this to multiple clients, and very often while standing over the wet ink pad – apparently my monthly income is an intriguing conversation to hold during fingerprint rolling – but I was not prepared for his reaction. His assumption that I must be volunteering because I could not find a job took me aback – most of my clients seem to understand and vocalize appreciation for my desire to volunteer without needing to ask for a reason. Maybe it was that this client was young (only a year older than myself), or that he was white, or just that he was grumpy, but as I struggled to explain to him why I was volunteering instead of working I was unable to convince him that I was in fact extremely thankful for my experience with MVS in Rochester. I told him I loved my clients, I was really enjoying my work, and learning so much – and he responded with bitter humor that I was learning not to get arrested in the state of New York (he was frustrated because I had told him New York State does not expunge anything from your criminal history) and left.

I am not sure if my client thought any more of our conversation after he left the office, but I have not been able to stop thinking of it ever since. Why did I choose to volunteer with MVS, and are these reasons being met during my time in Rochester? What does it mean to be a volunteer on behalf of Rochester Mennonite Fellowship in Rochester? And what exactly am I learning (besides the intricacies of expungement law in New York State and beyond)?

I have never thought of MVS as a fall back plan because I couldn't find a job – in fact I intentionally decided not to work this year because I wanted to do a year of volunteer work. I was excited about living into a mission of service, about actively focusing on loving others in my daily work, and about a program in which I could meet my basic needs so that I would not have to worry about finances as I explored social services work and relationships with the ex-offender population. In some ways MVS was an internship option, similar to those I experienced within college, but in terms of vocation, for me choosing MVS was much more than selecting a year long internship.

I am getting all the benefits of on the job training that internships provide, learning a lot about a population I might want to work with for the long term, and developing relationships with co-workers and other people in the criminal/restorative justice field that will help me network if/when I transition to traditional work in the non-profit world. However, I am also part of a community that challenges me to integrate my volunteer work with the rest of my life, inspires me to seek God in relationships at home and in the neighborhood, and reminds me that the narrative of profit, of segregation and individualization, of consumerism and scarcity is not the only definition of success.

I could not be more excited about what I have been experiencing how I have grown so far. I also have so much more to learn and many dreams yet to realize here in Rochester.  

5 comments:

  1. yay Bekah! :)
    (How come blogspot doesn't have a like button?)

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  2. In those moments when we are misunderstood, when what we're doing is questioned, our motivation crystallizes or falls apart. Way to go, Bekah, and all the best as you continue.

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    1. There will always be some people who just don't get the idea of volunteerism.It may be because of life experiences or just plain different values (which of course are formed by our life experiences). However, there is always choices we make in life and how we express these choices shows who we are, what are beliefs and values are. You expressed your values to another who appears not to share those values. In either way the impact is made and it is the person who chooses how to process that impact (again life experience comes into play).

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  3. Thanks for sharing, Amazing and proud to share the same genes- only yours are more advanced. I wonder if Volunteerism is a way of crossing over into the upside down kingdom. A difficult way of life to describe at the best of times to those who possibly choose not to or have yet to experience life crossed over.

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  4. It's important to realize what a privilege volunteering is. it does indeed benefit us in terms of personal growth, and we are hopefully able to benefit others through our service and solidarity. but taking a year to work without pay is not an opportunity that everyone necessarily has access to, due to their responsibility to provide financially for themselves and others. fortunately, MVS does everything it can to make their programme accessible to people from diverse financial backgrounds. but it's good to give thanks for the opportunity that you have, as you've done in this blog post, and try to understand why people from a different socio-economic class might not be able to fathom why anyone would choose to work for a year without pay. in my work, too, i have had encounters like this. it is especially sad when people can't understand why I would choose to hang out with "people like them" all day. it just goes to show how worthless and forgotten society can make people feel. i know that my work is valuable when I am able to counter that, and show a little love to forgotten people and places. it's beautiful when our work becomes a gift -- to us and others. consider it a privilege :)

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