I am in count down mode again. 8 sleeps in my place in Rochester - 7 sleeps til I get to see Matt again. 5 days left at work. 1 Sunday at Rochester Mennonite Fellowship. 1 more trip to the Laundromat. Maybe 3 or 4 more trips to the Y. 1 last Monday night workshop with my clients. Etc.
The last few weeks have been fairly full - there was a Saturday full of exploring waterfalls around Seneca Lake, an evening with the Pettigrews and a woman's professional soccer game, a lesson in how to cook Ethiopian food, one last Veronica Mars night with Holly, one last tea date with Jen and dinner with Rachel and breakfast with Kathy, a folk concert on the grass to close our weekly book club/small group times, a birthday party at the park for a friend from church, morning trips to the Y, finishing up with clients at work, starting the packing and year-end apartment cleaning, a closing interview with Roger and Sonya, etc.
I'm not very good at the good byes. I've already said a few to people from church who wont be around this weekend and they have felt somewhat empty - without ceremony and missing in context. I can't quite believe that my time here is over when the day to day goes on much as usual until the very end. It is odd to move on from a place like this - I miss the change in routine as things come to a close, the packing up of a home, the ceremonies and the golden stars. I know there will be ceremony to the next week - a few good byes parties with church folks, clients, and staff at JPC - and I hope that will fill my need for a closing ritual. I have the urge to visit each meaningful spot a last time - but I don't want to draw out the nostalgia.
And then there is the confusion on what I am looking forward to: a move to Richmond with no clearly defined edges. There is no job, no end date, no program to guide me in what to prepare for - just as much time and space and work and play as I want to create for myself. A step into the unknown.
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