the end of 22

Here I sit on the brink of turning 23. Drinking cold water with lemon and mint fresh from our garden. Rocking out to my favorite Pandora station. And waiting for the potatoes to cool for my birthday potato salad. This past year of my life - the year of being 22 - has been one of growing up, of taking ownership for myself and my experiences - and I've celebrated the end of that year this weekend by spending a lot of time in the kitchen making my favorite goodies. I've gotten to this point slowly, building up the cooking/baking projects slowly. But this weekend I went all out - birthday cake with lemon icing, boiled carrots with onion and garlic for snack food/lunches, my second summer batch of rollkuchen, sweet tea, and now my very favorite summer food - potato salad. (I've also been chewing on scallions all weekend because the thrifty Mennonite in me bought two bunches for $1 at the market and now have the most delicious onion breath :P)
I enjoy that my birthday falls in the summer months - it has always been a good way to divide time between old adventures and new opportunities. Summers have always made me feel alive. And that makes it easier to reflect.
I will remember 22 as the year I did MVS and lived in Rochester. The year I learned to travel by train and drive long distance (okay 3 1/2 hours) by myself in a vehicle. I said good bye to my parents again (this time as they went off to Lebenon) and left Winnipeg for good. The year I had only one home (in Rochester) and visited my loved ones from that base. The year I learned to live in an apartment without the social support network I took for granted in my family and at EMU. The year I learned to make phone calls without dread (or too much dread) - and probably sowed the seeds for ear or brain cancer from all my conversations with loved ones across the continent and the world.
Where I made my own choices. I planted my first garden on my own. I took ownership of my depression during the winter. I got sick on my own and learned how to rinse my own hair and mouth out after puking in the toilet (I hate it by the way). When I had to shovel out a the car - more than once. My first 9-5 job for more than a summer break. I explored a new state - a whole lot. I fell in love with a church. I forgot to write. I educated myself about 90's geek television. I learned to slay vampires. I saw one of the world wonders for the second time - this time covered in ice (Niagara Falls). I learned to buy vegetables (instead of finding them in dumpsters) and use natural, local soaps. I had solo dance parties.
A year in which I had no fresh seafood. I didn't see the West Coast of put my foot in an ocean. I didn't do any skinny dipping. I also didn't break any bones need to go to the doctor(at least yet). But I kept my toes painted and got a Y membership. Learned that I like yoga and actually enjoy working out. Enjoyed walking 3 miles to work and learned to drive on freeways. Got to many catcalls and learnd some inner city slang. I thinking I grew a tougher skin but I'm not sure of that. For the first time in 18 years, I did not go to school.
It has been a good year. But I am glad it's almost over! Here's to becoming 23.

Dream time

We've been reading "holy play" by Kirk Byron Jones for our book club. Jones' thesis is that we are co-creators with God when it comes to developing our purpose and vocational calling. While not my favorite book we have read this  year, I am appreciating Jones' challenge to accept purpose as an open ended invitation, to dream and to be creative and explore my calling(s). One challenge for me is knowing what I am passionate about (there are so many things I could be 'called' to) and so I have taken to reflecting on Jones' questions about what I would do if there was no pressure to accomplish or achieve something - and I have taken the space to dream answers to these questions in the mornings between my workout at the Y and starting my day at JPC while taking walks.

This time I was joined by a family of geese on the bay

Twice last week I walked the 3 miles from the YMCA to work (about an hour) and let my mind wander free to explore the possibilities of hopes, dreams, desires, wishes, and make believe. And on the morning when I had the unexpected gift of the car (Ket missed the bus that day and so drove to her Pilate class) I explored Irondequoit Bay Park again.

I've been amazed by the imaginings and dreams I have had, though I guess I shouldn't be too surprised. I want to go back to school. I also want to explore what law could look like for me - what would it mean to combine a masters in sociology, a law degree, and mediation training? I intrigued by small practice. I'm excited by dreams of living in a small community, of being present in my community, of being a regular at a local farmer's market and food coop, of having a garden, a goat(or maybe a miniature cow?) and a few chickens.

Some "creative outlet" with Holly and Ket at Color Me Mine

I'm slowly considering how to live into those dreams. I know one of my goals for the fall will be studying for the LSATs and/or GRE. I am excited to live in community with a midwife, a puppy, and two cats starting mid August. I am still looking for work, but am hoping for something alternative or part time - maybe in a small law office to get some practical experience. And for now I am content to explore Rochester more, to keep having my dream time, to grow my own garden this summer, and to finish well in the 10 weeks I have left here.

hello June

Summer comes fast. I expected this, but it still hits me by surprise that spring is followed so speedily by summer. Winter seems to take forever to end, but once spring has its hold it rushes onto summer without pausing long enough to get a breath. Life in it's extravagance, that is the story of spring moving to summer. I remember when the red of the tulip seemed extravagant only a month ago. And now the world is green and the sun is warm and I'm flaunting all my favorite skirts, dresses, and tank tops again - not to mention a delightful chaco tan.
Memorial Day has come and gone (and with it a visit from Tania, renewing my geek cred by re-watching all of Firefly/Serinity again and learning to enjoy Star Trek, also a sick day where I lay in bed praying not to - but hoping I would - regurgitate the sparse contents of my stomach), my kale has sprouted, and it's the first day of June.
In three weeks I'll turn 23. That's exciting. I should buy some fruit-loops to celebrate - the cereal I always associate with the summer and with birthdays. It's not a "special" year, but it means another marking of time passing, of brain maturing, of Bekah discovering who she is and what adventures to take, of remembering who she has been and who she might become. (This weekend I'm reminiscing about IB exams 5 years ago- how much fun they were, how I loved being challenged, and how I miss learning and proving myself academically).

Goals for the month of June:
Baking some Rollkuchen
Keeping a pitcher of tea in the fridge (so delicious and refreshing!)
Painting some pottery and writing some reflections as thank yous and good byes
Weeding
Walking
Writing