"new year" denotes change, it names transitions and beginnings, etc. January 2014 isn't bringing very many of those. My transitions and beginnings happen in August - when a new school year/semester starts, when I began my term with MVS, etc. 2014 means i need to pay attention when writing the date at work, but it hasn't brought any radical shifts - and that is hard to adjust to.
it's almost shocking that there is no external change to rejuvenate and inspire me. i've been on a students schedule for awhile. i'm used to things changing, to having new beginnings, new focuses, new things to learn, etc, every 4 months. it is hard to realize that four months have passed, the Christmas holidays and new year have come, and life in MVS goes on as normal - work isn't going to change much, my church and community remain the same, etc.
i guess it isn't that radical for most people to not have a "new" every four months. maybe part of growing up is learning to infuse "new" into the ordinary. to find ways to inspire the routine. to rejuvenate the self. that's something i'm going to have to work on. maybe that's what resolutions are about.
i went to ontario for Christmas. it was wonderful to be with siblings and aunt chris. to chill with people i could simply be around. we baked. we laughed. we argued. we ate. we walked to church in the middle of the night. we sang. we skyped the 'rents. we skied. we fed the chickens. it was life.
and then i had a week alone in my apartment here in Rochester while Ket visited with family in Ohio. i fed the fist and watered the christmas tree. i watched buffy. i shoveled snow. i cooked food that i love - just for me. i practiced yoga in the living room. i rested my ambitions. i reflected on imagery of light and awaited the epiphany.
and now the break is over. i am back at work 5 days a week. my roommate has returned. life is back in full swing. actually, life is in danger of returning to the same swing it was on in December if i'm not careful. and i that's where resolutions come in - ways of invigorating my remaining 7 1/2 months with a taste of the "new".
i'm looking forward to volunteering with healthy sisters - a local nonprofit that works with chronically unemployed women and makes awesome soup. i'm enjoying my new morning yoga routine. i'm excited about studying for the GRE or LSAT (i'm excited about deciding which one i should take....), i'm loving the new book we are reading for book club (the new jim crow, mass incarceration in the age of colorblindness), i'm anxiously watching days get longer and anticipating the possibilities of evenings spent outside again, i'm still looking for ways to be present here while i dream and discern what happens when this year does end (in August that is) and another "new year" will begin in earnest.
